Vegan Practically

A couple of weeks ago I raised three topics for future discussion. Last week I discussed omni restaurants that include vegan options. Today I’m skipping past the second question and instead going on to the third (I’ll go back to the second next time). In the original post I put it as “how tolerant should vegan diners be when they are eating with friends or relatives who are not vegan?” But that’s not quite the right way of putting the question. It’s really about whether vegans have obligations concerning how to comport themselves in “mixed company.”

I contextualize this discussion in the context of social eating, not because that is the only area in which to adopt a vegan lifestyle, but because it is the area in which “mixed company” is likely to create the most challenges. Clothing made from animal products, upholstery made from animal products, events in which animals are explicitly exploited such as rodeos and circuses, are all much easier to avoid altogether, and, arguably in these examples, people’s respective choices don’t have as much impact on one another.

I put this in terms of tolerance originally because there is an expectation placed upon vegans that, when in the company of people who use animal products, they (the vegans) will not be strident, will not rock the boat, and will not voice concerns over the use of animal products.

One way of summarizing this is as the expectation of limitless tolerance. And it plays out as an obligation. Vegans have an obligation (so the thinking goes) not to make non-vegans uncomfortable. Vegans are not supposed to harp on the reality that people who use animal products support industries in which cruelty to non-human animals is well-documented and widely-known, and that have a harmful climate and environmental impact.

Here we might see a blurry line between ethics and etiquette. I have a draft paper called “Kitchen Nightmares: The Ethics of Vegan Etiquette” in which I talk about the expectation placed on vegans to be polite, especially in social situations that revolve around food (as so very many of our social occasions do).

It may seem obvious that when ethics and etiquette come into conflict, ethical commitments ought to prevail. They have a normative force, after all, that goes beyond the conventions of etiquette. We might say, though philosopher Philipa Foot would disagree, that ethics offers us categorical imperatives, to be followed no matter what. whereas the imperatives of etiquette requiring good manners are but hypothetical, to be followed only if we care about that sort of thing.

In my draft paper, I bring Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, into the discussion at this point. Sometimes etiquette supercedes ethics — such as when telling a bride her dress is hideous or a dinner party host that you’re not enjoying your meal would be unnecessarily mean and achieve nothing. Better to be polite.

Though it is hard to believe that most people are not at this point aware of the horrors of factory farming, let’s pretend that at least in cases where people have no idea, a dinner party or an evening out at a restaurant is not the right time to enlighten them.

I don’t think this means that vegans are obligated to be endlessly tolerant. But I do think it means that there is a time and a place to raise these sorts of issues. If I know full well that people with whom I’m sharing a meal are going to be eating animal products, then it’s up to me to decide whether to attend or not attend. These social engagements are not to be taken up as “teachable moments” for proselytizing, even if the cause is right and just.

And while I think it is actually the right thing to do not to co-opt a social dinner, I also think it is strategically smart. We do not know when or in whom the little seeds we plant by openly requesting a vegan option will start to sprout.

We might also say that, if asked, then the door is open to give a brief and honest explanation of the main reasons for adopting ethical veganism. In other words, if someone actually asks me, then I don’t say it’s just a preference or that I’m doing it for my health. I say that it’s for ethical reasons having to do with animal suffering and harm to the planet. If they ask further, I say more.

I claim therefore that we ought to comport ourselves politely but at the same time stand firm on our principles. This approach, where etiquette takes the front seat on occasion, has the further merit of helping the vegan “PR problem.” I’m sure I don’t need to explain the PR problem — vegans are frequently characterized as militant, difficult, strident extremists. Even if there are urgent reasons to be militant and strident, and even difficult, it’s not a great longterm strategy for getting people’s attention in a way that keeps their minds open to new information.

It’s also not the case that there are no opportune moments and that we always have to wait to be asked. There are easier ways to engage people on a regular basis in a way that might make them more receptive. For example, you can blog, post about positive initiatives on social media, host vegan potlucks or dinner parties, or offer to provide information if anyone is curious. Those are just some examples — there are more ways to shift the pervasive denial.

But life is a two-way street, right? So the obligations in the sorts of social situations I have focused on here don’t run in just the one direction. Non-vegans have obligations too. And those are going to be the topic of next week’s ruminations.